Maybe shit will hit every single fan across all seven continents on January 1st. Maybe the Mayans weren’t just lacking extreme foresight and actually did chose to end their calendars at 2012 for some reason the universe only divulged to them, you know, because of all their hot cocoa inventing and human sacrificing. And those dank ass pyramids they built mostly by themselves (thank you very much, Egypt, and your generallyjewish slaves). But, call me crazy, I think there’s going to be a January 2nd. And when it comes around I’m still not going to have even the haziest idea about my future. I’m applying to jobs. Internships. Mostly unpaid. Fuuuuckkk.
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? I had all these plans. I have all these plans. I still haven’t joined the outing club! I was going to become outdoorsy when I moved to Maine. I was going to breathe in the cold, crisp air and smile whole, wide smiles at the pine scented dawn. I was going to read an entire DFW novel, like, not a collection of short stories. Or, at the very least, something dreary and satisfyingly Russian; Anna Karenina? The Brothers Karamazov? I was going to heft tomes. My glasses were going to get thicker, damnit. Not the point. It’s safe to say everyone I know is tabby-cat-level satisfied with where they are. Or they’re good a faking it, which, honestly, might be more beneficial in the long run.
Here’s the rub: Do you, or do you not, fuck everything you’ve been told and just (as someone I know would say) follow your heart? How much longer can —-“It’ll work out, because, uh, I’m smart and have inarticulable skills, uh, I just invented the word ‘inarticulable’? So yeah…” —- work? Will the universe tell us, like it told the Mayans, what the hell is going on and when we should throw in the towel? Because, dear universe, dear long gone Mayans, dear family, I think I’m ready to make some new kinds of irrational decisions. I now know I can’t drink two 40s but I might be able to juggle two jobs.
And, hey man, there are eight days till California floats away and fireballs rain from above.
